By Gloria Copeland
Seek Love – overlook an offense. The most hazardous weapon the devil uses against us is also the foremost enemy of Love. I’m talking about strife.
Strife means “vigorous or bitter conflict, discord and antagonism; to quarrel, struggle or clash; competition; rivalry.” This dangerous sin is an open door to the devil. It gives him license to bring confusion and evil into our lives. The Bible tells us how to avoid strife: “He who covers and forgives and offense seeks love, but he who repeats or haps on a matter separates even close friends” (Proverbs 17:9 Amp). So what is the answer to avoiding strife? Well, most importantly, you are to yield to love. If you want peace in your life, give peace to others. Walk in love. Be quick to forgive and overlook an offense. Don’t repeat matters that cause strife. We can also avoid strife through forgiveness: “Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense” (Proverbs 19:11 Amp). You know, the devil will always try to make us think the way the world thinks. The world says, “If someone mistreats or insults you, the only ‘macho’ response is to give him on right between the eyes!”
That’s because the devil operates and thrives on strife, since strife gives him an open door. The Bible says that where there is strife, there is also confusion and every evil work (James 3:16). Satan likes that kind of atmosphere. It breeds evil.
The devil tries to cause us to think like the world thinks. He wants us to believe that we have to defend ourselves when we are insulted. He wants us to think, I’m going to get the last word. I’ll give that guy a piece of my mind! But no one needs a piece of your mind. You should keep all you have!
The Bible says it is to your glory to overlook an offense. It also says you have good sense when you restrain your anger. Actually, insults won’t hurt you if you don’t partake of them – if you refuse to allow them into your spirit. You can forgive the person and go on peacefully, knowing that you just exhibited wisdom. Not only did you respond in wisdom, but you are still free from the trap of the devil.
Love Stops Strife Before It Breaks Out
Let’s look at another important key to getting rid of strife: “The beginning of strife is as when water first trickles (from a crack in a dam): therefore stop contention before it becomes worse and quarreling breaks out” (Proverbs 17:14 Amp).
You will never have a happy home if you don’t resist strife. You see, Satan wants to stop your faith from working, so he’ll try to slip in the back way and trick you into opening the door of your life to him.
Getting you into strife gives him a way in. Strife may seem to start out small, but really there is no such thing as insignificant strife. Strife left unchecked will flood your life like an ugly torrent.
The enemy likes to bring you an opportunity to get into a conflict with someone, because he knows that the moment you step into strife he can gain mastery over you. He uses strife to interrupt the flow of love in your life. And once he’s gotten you out of love, then he can cancel out your faith because faith works by love (Galatians 5:6). Love is our commandment. Jesus said, “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
So if you want to walk in the power and blessing of God, don’t open the door to the devil through strife. You have to make up your mind, “I am putting strife out of my house and out of my life!”
This is the way you do it: At the very first hint of strife, stop it. Don’t let someone pull you into an argument. Instead, walk in love and forgiveness and “stop contention before it becomes worse” (Proverbs 17:14 Amp).
It takes two people to get into strife, and you can decide not to get into it! You don’t have to fit the description of the person in Proverbs 17:19 Amp: “He who loves strife and is quarrelsome loves transgression and involves himself in guilt.”
So when you recognize a situation that sparks feelings of aggravation, jealousy or strife within you, just look at that situation through the eyes of God and talk to it. Say, “I refuse to allow this situation to bring strife into my life. I yield to the forces of love and joy within me.”
No Place for Strife in a Loving Home
Proverbs 17:1 gives you more insight into the danger of strife in your home: “Better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting (on offered sacrifices) with strife.”
The home is one of Satan’s biggest targets. He continually tries to disrupt families by causing strife and division in your homes. Your family is a powerful force for God when you’re all in agreement with one another. That’s why it’s so important to stay out of strife and walk in love at home.
Oddly enough, home is often the most difficult place to be loving! I think the reason for that is we don’t have our guard up when we’re at home. We’re not worried about our reputation. We’re not trying to impress anyone. At home, we relax and nothing stops us from being selfish except our commitment to walk in the love of God.
But don’t be fooled into thinking that it doesn’t matter how you act at home. It matters a great deal. In fact, years ago the Lord said this to me, If you allow Satan to stop you with strife at your front door, you’ll be no threat to him anywhere else.
Love Prevents Strife Among Brothers
Let me warn you that as soon as you start putting strife out of your home, the devil will pressure you even harder to get into strife somewhere else – at work, at church – just anywhere will work for him. He’ll provoke someone to be rude to you or hurt your feelings. Or he’ll make sure you find out about other believers’ mistakes, and then try to convince you to talk about their mistakes to others.
We must remember Paul’s words, “But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another” (1 Thessalonians 4:9).
When the enemy presents you with that opportunity, turn him down – fast! Treat that temptation to gossip and stir up strife as you would a poisonous snake. Turn your back and run the other way, because in the eyes of God, participating in strife is one of the most serious of sins.
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous” (1 Peter 3:8).
Stay away from strife. Ask God to reveal to you if you’ve entered into strife – even inadvertently. He may remind you of a time you passed along some gossip about someone else or criticized the pastor. If He does, repent and make a decision to be more conscious of avoiding that strife in the future.
Born to Walk in Love
When Ken and I first received the revelation of the danger of strife, we realized that if we wanted to walk in the full measure of God’s blessings, we would have to stay out of strife. We wouldn’t be able to argue with people or fight back when people criticized or wronged us. We’d have to respond in love.
So we made up our minds to put strife out of our family. We made up our minds to keep it out of our ministry. We absolutely refused to operate in strife. And we determined that if we did mess up and exchange harsh words, we would be quick to repent and keep the devil from gaining a foothold in our lives.
If you want to walk in God’s love and keep the door of your life closed to the devil, that’s the kind of decision you’ll have to make, too. So guard diligently against strife. Make the commitment to keep strife out of your life. See to it that your prayers prevail by staying in harmony with your family members as well as others.
The moment you slip up and get into strife, make it right. Go to the other person and say, “Please forgive me. I love you. I don’t want to be in strife with you.” Then tell the Lord, “Father, I repent of strife. I refuse to be a person of strife. I choose to walk in love.”
You may have to repent quite a bit at first if you’ve developed habits that must be changed. But don’t get disgusted with yourself and give up. Just keep acting on the Word. Stop strife – and yield to love!
The love of God has been shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Ghost (Romans 5:5). You are born of God to walk in His love.